ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gift wrapped bread.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize