I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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