I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
