trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize