God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
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