yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
