Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
