Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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