One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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