Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
