just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
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It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
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You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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