i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
