Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize