pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize