why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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