def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
