We're facebook friends in real life
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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