yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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