i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
