you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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