If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Enjoy the penises
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
