The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
