Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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