my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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