She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
