I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
