I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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