They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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