I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize