I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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