woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
