Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
