thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
