When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize