dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
