How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
