): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
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I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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