I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize