Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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