Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
