when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
