I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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