Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
