I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Be still, my beating vagina.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
