Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
