i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
