I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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