it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
