i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
