was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize