She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
