i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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