The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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