I just cut my nipple shaving
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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