nut hugger
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
