you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My cat gives me a boner
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
