the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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