she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
