I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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