after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
