she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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